why being afraid isn't worth it

“so what is your thing?”

over the past few months i have found myself in some sweet but nonetheless disconcerting situations. I’ve had the opportunity to mingle with such amazing, kind, creative women who are setting out to make a difference in this world. women that were already in my circle and women that my world just so happened to collide with. and its had me thinking – whether because others have asked or its just replayed itself in my mind. what is your thing? what is your passion? what has god gifted you to do that you can focus in on and use for good, whether by day in your career or by evenings and weekends as scandal plays in the background on netflix?

and I’m glad this question has been asked. I’m really truly thankful. because i was surprised at what sprung up in me when this happened – panic. insecurity. i don’t know what I’m good enough at, i don’t know what i could possibly give, i don’t know i don’t know i don’t know. i was the kid who was involved in about ten extracurriculars because i loved all of them equally. theater! soccer! student government! music! bring em all and bring em on. I’ve never been someone who had one skill and one passion to bring to the world. and for some reason i think that makes me insecure. i am so afraid of failure – I’m afraid of trying something and getting it WRONG. i was always involved in things just enough to be good at them without COMPLETELY throwing myself in just to see what would happen in taking the risk. I’ve struggled to make decisions paralyzed by what would happen if it was the wrong one.

and so then yesterday i realized – i am NOT a hodgepodge of here and there. i am a writer. i am an encourager. i am a traveler. i am an adventurer. i love exploring new places and taking in the tastes, sights, and sounds of cultures very much the same AND very different than my own. i love conquering new recipes and sharing them with others in my home (key word = conquering… goodness knows I’ve set the smoke alarm off more times than i would care to admit). i love yoga. god has plans to make happen in my life as i press into the things that i love WITHOUT FEAR. i know, i know. in a lot of ways this is nothing new. and yet for whatever reason, its a truth I’ve desperately needed reminding of as of late. its funny how I’ve realized that my biggest roadblock is fear of my own failure. and yet that is the silliest because its not me that is going to make things happen anyway.

these days, i’m realizing that what i need is courage. courage to step off the ledge and let god know, and maybe remind myself too, that i TRUST who he has made me to be. and i trust that god can do something with my gifts (except maybe not yoga… the first time i got bird of paradise, i fell right over because i was too excited). he just wants my willing heart.

life is short and days are shorter, so why not spend them helping others? and better yet, helping them in something you love?

so, what’s yours? whatever your passion, there is a purpose, a cause, a business, an after school program, maybe even something you start YOURSELF to plug that passion into. and maybe you, too, just need to hear today that fear isn’t worth it. but your passion is. and your willing heart is. so JUMP and i’m going to try jumping with you.

let’s do this thing people.